Well, you would have been 10 months old today. I miss you soo much. I haven’t written in awhile. The hurt is always here with me but the pain is farther away now. At this point I would have been chasing you around the house keeping you from getting into whatever your little hands could reach. I should be planning your first birthday and looking forward to your first Christmas with us. Instead…I am not much looking forward to Christmas at all. (Except of course to see the look on your big sisters face when the joys of the holidays show through.) Your big sister misses you very much. She told me this morning that she wishes she could have held you. I wish she could have too. I am not sure why we didn’t let her at the time everything happened so fast the day we met you to say good bye. I wish I could hold you again. My guess is that great grandma is holding you tight and giving you hugs and kisses from Mommy and Daddy and Big sister. She passed away this very day three years ago. November 12th, 2007. The 12th. You are going to be a big brother too! Mommy is due June 12th. 1 year and 6 months to the day since we said good bye to you. I will make sure your little brother or sister knows all about you. We all will.
I wish I could have known what you would have looked like at 10 months old. I look at other babies that were born around the same time you were and they are all so big! I can’t even picture it. I love you my son more then you will ever know. I miss you so much but I am so glad all you know is blissful peace and happiness. I wouldn’t be able to get by without knowing that you are more alive and happy than any of us will ever know in this lifetime