The whole thing felt like a nightmare.
I was happy in an empty room with endless space. My husband and Dad-in-law were sitting on a red couch with Donavin (dead still) wrapped up in the receiving blanket (the one I sleep with) laying between them. I was standing in front of them and Addy was somewhere. I felt like she was there but I don’t remember seeing her. I felt as if a lot of time had gone by since his Death. All the sudden I saw his arm move. I was the only one to notice it. I thought I was just losing it. You know, one of those people who want it so badly to be true they start imagining it? So I didn’t say anything. Then he moved again, a lot. He was squirming and making noises. Everyone else stopped and looked. I picked him up as quickly as I could and just held him. Then I held him out to look at him and his eyes were open. They were disturbing. Cross eyed and lifeless. Almost like one of the googly eyes you use in craft projects, but real eyes. I was so happy still in my dream, my son was alive but it felt wrong. Spiritually it felt wrong. I went to hand him to my husband and I woke up. Heart pounding, sweating…the whole waking up with a nightmare feeling. It was sooo strange.
I just had to share it.