As I sit here and wait for children to fall asleep for their naps I find myself wondering what I am going to do with Donavin’s stuff when we move. I already packed the majority of it. Clothes, blankets, etc and that will stay in the attic for now. However, we have quiet a bit we kept out that we have displayed on our entertainment center. I am not sure what I want to do with it all. Do I split it up or keep it all together? Do I put it in our room or put it in the living room? There is the glass heart and his ashes that a part of me wants to put in the safe in case, God forbid, we have a fire. I couldn’t stand to lose them. I know this is just me being paranoid but these are the thoughts that cross my mind. (Actually, while writing this I just thought of a solution. We will keep some of his ashes in the safe so if something were to happen we could have another heart made…its ok I know I’m a genius right? 😉 I know I should do whatever I am comfortable with but I am really not sure what that it yet.
I have started packing all the things that we don’t need or use on a regular basis. Just leaving what we absolutely need out that way we aren’t in a mad dash rush to move and clean when the time comes. I actually feel really good about the progress I have made so far. Although I do have to say I feel sorry for that husband of mine…he has to pack the garage. My next step is packing all the things we don’t use regularly in the kitchen and then the pictures, knick nacks, and things off the walls. I don’t think I will be able to box up Donavin’s things until we move…it will probably ride over in an open box on my lap. (For some reason the thought of closing the box makes me cringe) Which at the moment is Diesel’s spot but something tells me at that point he is going to be way to big to be on my lap…he is pushing it as it is.
I wonder if I will ever be able to part with his things. We have 4 huge totes of his stuff, 2 of which are clothes, most of which are brand new. It saddens me that there are people out there that could truly use this stuff. People that need it and can’t afford it on their own with no family to help them (as we surely do) . I would love to be able to give this stuff to someone who has a great need for it. The thought of getting rid of it breaks my heart though. I don’t really understand why. It is just stuff. He never so much as touched any of it. He doesn’t need it in heaven. Surely, God has provided him with everything he needs and more. None the less, all the stuff was his. Therefore, I can’t part with it. Maybe when I am ready to God will show me just what to do with it.